Sunday, December 5, 2010

December 5th A very Personal Post

This website is about giving you prompts to reflect on this year and manifest whats next. I am going to play catch up for a minute as I missed the first 4 days of this. (There is a prompt for each day.)

1.) December 1 – One Word --- One word that encompasses the year 2010 for me is CHANGE. It seems like my life has done nothing but CHANGE over and over again this past year. For those that know me.. I am not good at CHANGE. I have had numerous major life CHANGES this year.

2.)December 2 – Writing --- I do not think that this one applies much to me other than the fact I need to do more of it. I have been told by numerous Counselors that it helps to get the feeling out, even if you just put them on paper and then throw them away. I recently had a nutritionist tell me that when I felt like eating and did not know if it was real hunger or my vice, to write something anything and keep going and after that if I was still wanting food to re-evaluate and see if it was real hunger or not. So maybe that will be a small goal for me, or maybe posting to this blog more regularly will be. Something for me to think about.

3.)December 3 – Moment --- This prompt is about picking one moment from the year where I felt most alive this year. Is it said that I am sitting here and really can not think of that MOMENT. I really am trying, but I am going back to the beginning of the year and I am noticing that I am having a hard time remembering the year. It could be the way I have felt over the past year and all of the changes. I am sad because I can not find my moment.

4.)December 4 – Wonder --- How did I cultivate a sense of wonder in my life this year? -- WOW, um not sure that I did, but it is something that is going to take place in 2011. I am currently reading a book called, The Gifts of Imperfection, by Brene Brown. It says Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, Your Guide to WHOLEHEARTED Life. So, wish me luck on this journey I am taking for myself. It's going to involve changes on my part, work on my part. I am scared and yet excited. I am going to find a good counselor to see, I am going to become closer to God. I believe these things will help me. I think they will be good for me.

5.)December 5 – Let Go --- What (or whom) did I let go of this year? Why?

This Prompt hits home to me in a BIG no make that a HUGE way. I feel like I let go of myself and I don't know why. I feel as if I do not really know who I am. I feel as if I really do not know what I want. I feel as if I let go of things that were important to me. I feel as if I let the CHANGES take that away from me. Maybe its a growing process, maybe its just life and this happens to alot of people, and they just don't talk about it. I am not sure but again if you read December 4th, that's what I am going to do take Me back this year. I only hope that I have the courage to follow thru on it. I can not stress how nervous and scared I am about going on this journey, but I believe that it will and can help me come out on the other side a better ME. I think a better ME, means a better Person, Wife, Mother, Woman of God, Friend, and again a better ME.

Okay I wonder what tomorrows Prompt will be and what my answer will be and if I will continue to answer them honestly and with my heart.

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