It's been a week......

I know its been a week, but I went on a scrapbooking retreat this pass weekend. I had such a great time. But let me tell you I am just now catching up on not being so tired. We stay up late and barley sleep, the object of this is to get as much scrappin done. so here is what i got done.

I actually got more than this done, but you get the gist of it. I had fun, now I have to be a grown up and play catch up!

Nanny's

Okay so my favorite place in the whole wide world is my Nanny's. Well and to be more specific it's my Nanny's bed. That's right I have issues. I am 30 years old and up until I had CarLee I slept in her bed with her. It was like a sleep over. We would to to bed and then lay there talking forever. My relationship to this one woman can never be defined. At times she has of course been my Nanny, other times, a mother, a sister, my very best friend and so much more than those things. She is the Nanny. She is the strongest person I know and has dealt with more than one person should ever have to in a life time. So on Saturday we loaded up in the Jeep and drove to my Nanny's house. It restored a sense of balance to my life.

This in my Nanny's room, just a week after being redone. It is very girlie and very beautiful.

This is my great-grandfather's hat, my great grandpa Epstein. My Nanny has kept it in great condition for the last 22 years. It's really hard to believe its been that long. But we have come up with the coolest idea. I am going to dress CarLee up and put this hat on her and my nanny has a child's upright piano and a cool old fashion light and we are gonna take her pictures. It will be a neat tribute to the man and the hat. Oh, and no he could not play the piano.

The Middle of the Week.

It's the middle of the week, and that's me talking to my mommy. Also, while on the phone with my mom, I painted CarLee's Toenails and Fingernails.

We had a good night tonight. I love doing little things like this with CarLee.

The Stool

So we are going to my Nanny's tomorrow, and we never tell CarLee till the day we go. She just gets a little too excited about going. Well, Ms Debbie slipped and told her she was going to see my Nanny (Ms Debbie did this so CarLee would not be sad about missing a b-day party tomorrow). So, when I picked her up all I heard was I wanna go to my Nana's house (and let me just say that up until today CarLee called her Nanny as well). Well I was looking for something to hold my stickles (scrapbooking stuff) and went to AC Moore. While looking for what I wanted CarLee decided that Nana need a stool, then CarLee decided it needed to be purple, and last but not least that it needed sparkles. She picked out 2 shades of purple and then some purple sparkles (I did not help at all). I then got her some foam paint brushes. All the way home she talked about how her and Nana were gonna paint this tomorrow at Nana's house. We were home about hour and she came up to me and said, "I need to paint the stool at my house." So I set everything up and she painted the stool, she did tell me that I had to help. I painted half of the top and filled in her "no" paint areas, but for the most part she did this herself.

See she did a good job.

Dance Class is done.

plain and simple she quit again. So we are done. No more. We were not even there long enough to get a picture. 10 minutes and she stopped following direction, and when the teacher got onto her she started to cry. So we came home. Maybe we will try in a year or two. Happy Friday to everyone.

Tuesday Night

All I can say is CarLee fell in the bath tub and hit her nose. Everything is all good now. I was freakin out last night though. Nose bleeds are bad and horrible. There was blood everywhere. CarLee stopped crying and realized she had blood on her hands (forget the huge amount coming from her nose) and started to freak out because it was on her hands. Then she realized it was on my arm. "Mommy you are bleeding! stop bleeding! Mommy you have a boo-boo!" I then had to tell her no Mommy is not bleeding you are. Once her nose stopped bleeding and I was able to get my heart to beat again, all was good. Needless to say CarLee pretty much got whatever she wanted last night. Oh, and as soon as Lee got home. "Daddy I slipped and fell in the tub, I hurt my nose." There shall never be secrets in this house. Someone told me today, she won't remember it and I will never forget it. I bet she is right on the money with that.

Newborn Photos

Mommy's 1st baby doll with her 1st Baby.

These are just some of the pictures I got to take. I really hope they let me come back and take more. I can go overboard a little. It was a good visit. I think they are adjusting fine. I hope they are all getting rest when they can. She is so adorable.

To be honest Lisa having this baby was a little hard for me. I know its gonna sound silly and a little weird. This made me feel kinda grown up. My oldest friend having a baby, the girl I went to high school with having a baby. I was like holy crud, we are grown ups. I am slightly off and I know that.

But she is a beautiful friend.

Let Us Play Catch Up

On Saturday CarLee and I met up with Beth and went to a craft fair, that was so bad. Then decided to go get Parker and take the kids to McDonald's to play. These 2 do not spend to much time together but when they do it's Par-ker (CarLee says it like its 2 words) and Car-we (which is how Parker says CarLee, which I find adorable) this. They are so cute together. They played on the play ground while me and Beth watched, then it was inside for the overrated Happy Meal.

Aren't these two just adorable? They are 18 days apart. oh, and CarLee was all like I want Kevin to come (Parker's Dad) and Parker was all like where's Lee?

Then me and CarLee headed home to hang out at the house. I think we both took a nap.

This is my cousin Scooter. He left us almost a year ago. Today he would have turned 19. I can not tell you we were super close with 11 years age difference between us. We did not talk on the phone. Yet, when we were together.... The first thing he did when he saw me was hug my neck and we always managed to have a few minutes to talk just us. I gave him grief about school and how he needed it, and told him not to trust girls because most of us were evil. I would also tell him to stay out of trouble. He always acted like he was listening, I think he pretended just to make me feel good. He loved to aggravate, he loved to start trouble and he loved his family.

This is what I wrote and read the day of his service and even now almost a year later it still brings me some comfort.

August 30, 2008

I lied awake last night wondering how I was supposed to say goodbye. When in my heart I feel you were to young to die. My mind screams he is to young to be gone, so many things he has not done. Then I fell asleep and had a dream and to real did it seem:

Your hat was pulled just so, as always a little to low. You were shaking your head as you leaned against the truck bed. Looking over at our family you smiled, both of us thinking how you always got them riled.

I stood watching you, wondering what I should do. How could you I just go away, not ever giving us one more day? Tears started down my face, as I told you no one could ever take your place.

With a grin you said, "Of course there could never be another me, I am the only me that will ever be." Again glancing at all those you were leaving behind as if you were making up your mind, "Tell them not to be mad, least of all please don't feel sad. My time has come and gone and this is something that can not be undone. I had all the things I ever needed: A mother who loved me with every breath she ever took, Mammee who let me know she wanted the best for me with just a look, a brother to turn to when things got tough, family I knew would be there when times were rough, an uncle who loved me as his son. Please know that for me this is the first I've been free."

You turned from me and walked away over your shoulder you gave a wave.

I awoke with a start and still having this pain in my heart. Knowing we would all have to let you go and that the process would be slow. We will all do what we have to, to get thru all of us holding onto a special memory of you. The world will never be the same, but in our hearts you will always remain.

by kim minyard

You know they say (and I have no idea who they are) that with time things get easier or that it hurts less. Well, they are wrong. I still look for him and it hurts all over again when I realize he is not there. I miss Scooter and the only thing sometimes that really gives me comfort is knowing he is finally with his mom my Aunt Ikey, she is another story and deserves for her story to be told on another day. I am sure she would want me thinking only of Scooter today. I hope that he knows how often he goes thru our minds and that he is always in our hearts!

Another Dance class is Over With

We made it to another dance class today. I think she forgot she quit last week. She of course had to wear her boots. She did change into her dance slippers once we were there though. She had a treat too, her Papa Tony met us up there and she was very excited to see him. So into the class she went. We had a few times during the class where she wanted to do her own thing, but for the most part she did really well today. I am very proud of her. Her dance teacher even said she was doing much better. So I guess we will make it the next two weeks.

This CarLee finally doing what she is supposed to do.

On another note she had 2 potty accidents today this after having NONE yesterday. I guess maybe we are getting a little better. Only 3 weeks left till we start daycare. She better get on the ball.

I took this of the sky on the way home. The sun was trying to peak thru.

It's rained everyday since Monday, even a little sunshine is a welcomed gift.

Baby Claire is Here.. Finally......

This is Baby Claire.

My friend Lisa and her husband Daniel had their little girl last night. I am so happy for them. This baby was very much wanted and loved. Lisa is doing great and is a beautiful mother. Daniel well he is looking pretty tired. I hate to tell him living with two ladies that feeling ain't going away anytime soon. Their little family is complete. I love being around these two (well now these three). They love each other and really like each other. They are really sweet and it warms my heart to know that my friend has that. I makes my heart swell to know that she cherishes it. I know they are going to make great parents.

Lisa and I have been friends since the 11th grade. That was a long time ago. She is the friend that if I go a little to long without talking to her (which I am sometimes bad about) once we are talking its like we just talked yesterday. Over the last 12 years or so we have seen each other thru some times, some good, some bad and well ALOT of weird and odd times. I love her and I am glad that I got to meet little Claire today, its one more thing we will share together. I do feel a little guilty while at the hospital I did talk an awful lot about my little girl. After I left I was like I talked alot about me and it really should have been all about her and her little girl.

Doesn't she look like a natural Mommy?

Okay well on another note.. we are going to try Dance Class AGAIN tomorrow. So be looking for an update on that either tomorrow or Friday. Today however let me show you CarLee's new favorite shoes. (someone gave these to us and we have 2 pairs in 2 different sizes)

Ain't she Cute?

Value vs Cherish

"I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar" by Robert Brault

I have some friends like that. All I have to say is I need you and there they are. We make plans most of the time checking our calendars.... But when it comes down to it.. When I say "HEY" they say "Where". There have been times when they knew I need them before I knew I needed them.

So if you have some friends like that out there, hold on to them. Plain and Simple Cherish them.

I might have some more later, but wanted to get that quote out there.

sorry no pictures today.

Today however was a bad potty training day for the girl kid. 4 accidents. She is smart and I know she knows what to do and yet she refuses to tell us when she has to go, then when we ask her she says no I do not have to go. So then we make her and she screams or does what I am now calling toilet gymnastics. Yup whatever you are imagining that is exactly what it is. If there was a category in the Olympics she would have won more gold medals than Michael Phelps. I also had to go to Walmart before I could come home to get corn nuggets and chicken nuggets which is about the only things she will eat here at home. There are some days that I wonder how good of a mom I am actually being.
To top thing off, Lee was watching the news and decided that he could help me by telling me to apply for a job he saw on the news. He was thinking was the news said starting pay would be $40,000 to $60,000. Therefore if I made $60,000 he could quit work and stay home. So he helped me fill in an online resume. I guess it does not matter, that I asked to be the stay at home person first. Hey at least he did the laundry tonight. He is way to good to me.

Independce Day.

So we had a really big weekend around here. Friday night CarLee went home with her Papa Jay. This was a first and it all happened quite by accident. He came by and was holding her and I just asked the question, "You wanna go home with Papa Jay?" Well she said yes and came inside and packed her bags. When I went to say goodbye to her after she was in the truck she pushed me and told me to close her door... Can you say Little Miss Independent.

Well my husband's family has a tradition of going to a 4th of July Parade and me and CarLee have made it the last year and this year. CarLee would be arriving with Papa Jay and Granny Cheryl. Here are some pictures of our morning at the parade.

This is CarLee eating her pancakes that Aunt Pam got her from McDonald's before the parade. We had a good time, we always sit at the end of the parade and sometimes the floats run out of candy before they make it to us. Yet my in-laws always make sure to bring bags of candy just for that reason. They are awesome like that. They throw candy to the kids at the end. (make sure that our kids have plenty to go home with too.)

This is my favorite picture. She had so much fun waving her flag and make noise with her noise maker. Oh and her Uncle Cale taught her to yell, "Candy, Candy, Candy!!!" So that the people on the float would throw more her way! I think it was a good morning.

After the parade we were off to Papa Tony's to celebrate his birthday.

It was ice cream cake, the park, merrigoround, and the pool, we made it home this afternoon.

I am tired and the girl kid has had little to no sleep since Thursday, I am waiting for her to crash. I am betting that Papa Tony is already in bed (he stayed up with her last night). I had to fight with her to get her to come home. Yet once we got here she was excited to see her puppies and her Daddy.

Oh, I do have one little complaint... I made this really cute hat (I thought it was cute) and could not get CarLee to wear it. Little Miss Independent.

See ain't it Cute? It is also very Patriotic.

Oh and my better half was hangin at the race with his buddy Jerry. It was an awesome race, and they stayed right up until the bitter end which I have to say was the FREAKIN best part of the whole race! Gotta Love me some Tony Stewart!

This is JR and Tony Stewart

Tony Stewart's Pit


That blur is actually a car.

But I am still a little in the dog house the memory card I sent with him only held 20 pictures....So let's hope his buddy Jerry got some pictures at the end.... Or my scrapbook might note be complete and I might have to stay a little longer in the dog house.