New Year, New Changes?

That right now- is something i am trying to do.  Love this beautiful life God has blessed me with.  I am working everyday to be a better person.  I want to be who my daughter already believes me to be.  In her eyes - and God's eyes I am so much more.  I want to be so much more. so that's me. Thanking God for blessing me with my Crazy Beautiful Life.

Here is an update on this Crazy Life I have.

Sunday first Sunday back at church.  All great there.  No judgement for missing 2 months, just hugs and such.  Love the members of my Church.

Monday- wow.  I have no way to describe this day.  Went to work and was busy so I was working. Doing my thing. I walked on my lunch break with my friend Liz.  We walked 2 miles and had some good deep conversation.  My legs were on fire though.  I got backed to my desk and my manager called me to her office.  "we are re-organizing, and your position has been eliminated." dude.  What else can i say.  I packed my desk and was out the door. I could say so much more, but really there is no point.

Tuesday - job search, which is so not fun.  Looked on line all day.
Wed - much of the same, worked in my scrapbook room.  Church in the evening.
Thursday - worked in my scrapbook room, got stuff ready for my yard sale to benefit a friend.
      I picked CarLee up from school and we went to Publix, where i proceeded to knock out her front tooth.  I know I am such a good mommy.  It was a total accident, but it happened.  Then we got home and lost the lost tooth.  How do I manage to do these things?  As an organized mom - I fail.  She did not even care, never mentioned the tooth fairy.  She is not even excited about the tooth fairy after the first tooth.
Friday - chiropractor and massage.  This is my last visit before my insurance runs out.  Then had lunch with my girls.  Susie, Liz and Sherry from my last job and one of my besties Karen. It was a good lunch.  It was nice to hang out.  Then it was home to get more stuff ready for the yard sale.

Today, Saturday it was yard sale. I raised 150.00 for my friend.  I am so excited.  I can not wait to give it to her.  It made me feel real good.  I am so blessed to be able to do this.

This week coming up asking for prayers. My nanny has to have surgery on Tuesday.  Please pray that this all goes well.  Please pray that this heals her stomach. This lady means so much to me.  I can never put into words all that she is. She is great.  She is fun, and strong.

She has been my nanny, my mommy, my friend, confident, buddy, and so much more.  She is my history, my past, she holds my present and with all my whole heart I pray that she is in my future for a long time more.

LoVE mY KiD

So, CarLee had to redo her homework tonight for the whole week.  Why do you ask?  She decided to bring ice cream home with her, from school.  Guess how that turned out?  She put it in her lunch box at lunch time, so she could bring it home.

PS - I weighed in at weight watchers - down 5 pounds.  When I get to 13 I will celebrate.

Okay I am listening......

Have you ever realized that someone was trying to tell you something and you just weren't listening?
I have, and very recently too.  I am not sure exactly where to start this post or this story.  So, lets just start with now.  Last night was my first night back at Church in over 2 months.  Yet, even before then I was only going very sparatically.  It seems when my life gets busy or I get depressed, I quit church. Why, God didn't quit me (Thank You for not quiting me).  I go to a really great church.  I do.  I know most people think they go to a great church, and they probably do.  I go to a church that is great for me.

1.)  CarLee loves it.  Not likes it Loves it.  She knows when we are supposed to go.  Thank you Ms Sims and Ms Kelly for teaching her the days of the week.  I have to think this goes back to all of her Sunday School teachers and now her awana leaders.  I have to admit, watching her in her faith and her walk with God is amazing.

2.)  My first Sunday school teacher.  Ms Sandy - made me feel welcome and loved from the first time I met her.  She put me right at ease.

3.)  They don't care what you wear.  I know this seems like a silly reason to think your church is great but to me it is.  I am not a girlie girl, I do not like to dress up, and I would so rather be in flip flops than dress shoes.  I have showed up in jeans and a t-shirt and was not treated any differently. EVER.  They just want you to be there, to share the Lord with you.

4.)  This is not my first lapse in going to church.  Yet, no one judges me.  I never get the look - oh look who is back now....  I get hugs and pats on the shoulder. I hear, "Glad to see you" or "Glad your back".  I feel missed and I feel wanted.

So, before school let out for Christmas break, CarLee asked when we would be going back to church.  I said in the new year.  So, on Monday I posted to the women's group on facebook :

needing help. 1.) can anyone recommend a podcast on itunes for daily listening? 2.) thinking i might need some help in my daily walk. I have not been to church since oct. when life gets hectic or crazy church is the one thing I drop. I don't want to be like that anymore.

The response from the women in that group was amazing, as well as all of the encouragement I received last night.  I realized that I don't have to be able to spout scripture, and I don't have to be elegant prayer.  I just have to be me. 

Earlier in the day I had read this post : http://karenrussell.typepad.com/my_lifejust_not_on_the_ro/2011/12/love-notes.html
and it spoke to me.  I just need to be in my relationship with God. 

So this is why I think God, was trying to get my attention.  3 weeks ago when CarLee asked when we were going back, when I got the news my Nanny was cancer free, when I posted to facebook and the women of my church let me know that they were there for me and when I read that blog post.  It's not really about GOING to church for me, but about going to GOD. I am listening and praying now. 

Red Power Ranger

Okay at some point my kid has combined the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus?




Let me start at the beginning. CarLee – my totally awesome Girl Kid did not actually get her teeth until she was almost a year old. Then of course she got them all at one time. That was so much fun. (The sarcasm was just oozing right there if you could not tell.) End of that part of the story – she got all of her teeth. Once at her pediatrician’s office, he said to be careful that she might be likely to get cavities because her teeth were a little jagged. Fast forward 2 years and her first dentist appointment no cavities no problems that they could see. The dentist patted us both on the head and said keep up the good work. Well, not really but basically that was the gist of it.

A couple of months ago, she started asking when she would lose her teeth. I basically told her I did not know and that everyone was different. That they would come out in their own time. (This was a really good mommy moment for me, huh?) So, the other day she said her tooth hurt, and I asked her to show me which one. She pointed and opened her mouth. I looked and while looking I noticed that I could actually see 2 teeth along her gum lines. I laughed. Sorry, but all I could really think about was her new teeth were about to kick her old teeth out. I told her what I saw; she got excited and told her daddy. This was Sunday 01/01/2012.

Well, last night Girl Kid and her daddy went to get shoes. When they got home, she peaked in the door and said mommy I have something to show you. I said, “What?” She kind of turned toward lee and said, “Can I show her?” Lee said “not yet”. The two of them went back and forth for a while. Then Lee said, “OK, go show her.” CarLee ran towards me all excited and says, “My tooth is loose.” This kid was so stinking excited about her first loose tooth. Yes, of course I went to get my camera and made CarLee point to the loose tooth, while I took pictures of it. I am just a little weird. A minute later after CarLee had left the living room and was not within ear shot, Lee says, “She already made a wish to the tooth fairy.”

Okay so maybe I should not have been, but I was shocked. I think my mouth feel open. A wish? To the Tooth Fairy, what you talkin bout Willis? Lee told me, that CarLee had made a wish for a red power ranger to the tooth fairy or for the money to buy it; she could not be specific because she did not know how much a read power ranger cost. At this point I am laughing and thinking – Yes, I rubbed my belly and begged for my kid to have personality. Wish granted. So, I asked lee what we were going to do. Dumb. He said, “Well at least Wal-Mart is 24 hours, in case we have to go in the middle of the night.” In our family, CarLee’s imagination/awesomeness wins every time.

Conclusion: Mommy, meaning yours truly hit Wal-Mart at 6:30 am (before work) to pick up a red power ranger.

Operation Tooth Fairy: Accomplished.

fat munchkin from the Wizard of Oz

(the title of this post has nothing to do with the actual munchkin in the above picture, but to her mother)

Really why is it, that on those days when I am not trying to eat healthy or in simple girl terms, “BE GOOD” I hardly think of food. Oh, but today is the first day of my new life (lifestyle) and I cannot stop thinking


About food. REALLY?!?!?!? How do you think that’s fair? Yeah, I did not know who I thought would actually answer that question. The Diet Goddess or Mother Nature or the someone who decided that food was going to be the vain of my existence? I wish that it was something I could take or leave. It does not look like that is ever going to be the case. I am doing this to be healthy, to be able to be an active parent, and let’s not forget so that I no longer look like a very fat munchkin from the Wizard of Oz or like someone tied to umpalompa’s together. That is probably the single most motivating factor.

Here is the deal. I am going to do this. I am going to be stubborn about this. I need to do this for me. I want more confidence. I want to feel at least a little sexy when I go to put the moves on my husband. (He has never not once complained or commented or anything, so don’t go thinking he is some evil man. He says he loves me/wants me no matter what and proves it more than he should have too.) I want to quit buying clothes from the fat people stores. Yeah whatever, I will always have to go in there for my bras. That is the one thing my husband does care about. BOOBIES.

So here is the first real day of good (by good I totally meant healthy) food, hot tea, water and me thinking “nothing is going to taste as good as skinny feels.”

S o I have a question for you Ladies out there, who have ever worked out or just needed a feel pretty, sexy, I am woman song. What is that song?

1.) Whiskey Girl by Toby Keith – pretty sure it has something to do with that music video.

I don’t know why. I have never looked like that in my entire life. Yet, there is totally something about this song/video that makes me wanna be skinny. Yup that noise you heard – was you laughing out loud at reading that.



Check out these super cool blogs:

http://1000awesomethings.com/     this is heartwarming and will make you laugh or at least smile to yourself.


http://www.peopleiwanttopunchinthethroat.com/ -- this is my kind of blog, I am pretty sure I agree with her 100% - but for the sake of wanting you guys to like me.. 98% of the time I agree with her

so this is me signing out for now...

2012

So today is the beginning of a new year.  Hello 2012! This year is going to be a year of good things.  I am going to try my best.  I joined weight watchers yesterday.  I have done this before and not followed thru.  Yet, my Girl Kid is getting more active and I am going to need to keep up with her.  I want to be healthy for my family.  So, today is the first day of this life style change. ta da.

December 29th 2011

I have been thinking about this again, alot.  I enjoy it, but it is one of those things that I tend to let go.  My grammar is not that good, and well anyone who knows me knows my spelling is worse.  I do however love to write.  I have always used it as an outlet.  I look back over some of my journals from elementary school (the ones I managed to save despite the 30 something moves) and even back then writing was an outlet.  It was a way to get out all of the things inside of me.  I still have so much inside of me trying to get out.  I have so much I want to be and do.  Yet, most of the time I do nothing.  Why is that?

I am really going to try and do more and be more in 2012.
I want to get back into going to church.  I enjoy it when I go.  CarLee loves it.  Yet its the first thing I let fall to the side when I get lazy or depressed.  I am not sure why.  I know that God is busy, and yet he has time for me.  I need to stop making excuses.  I need to just focus on it.  I need to just do it.  I need to focus more on my daily walk with the Lord.  I know that my faith has gotten me thru LIFE. I know his plan for me is greater than the one I have for myself.

I am going to try and complete project life 365: http://www.beckyhiggins.com/products/
I am so excited to do this.  I am years behind in my scrapbooking. I still like scrapbooking but, really I have so much more stuff that I want to do and try.  So, I am really going to try and do this.

Well I guess that's is all for tonight.  Still trying to figure out, if I will keep blogging.  Maybe no one wants to know what i have to say.  Maybe some of  you do.  Who knows?  I have so much I want to do.  I wonder if I will actually accomplish anything.....

CarLee- you are such a loving little girl, your hugs melt my heart.
Lee - thank you for the napkin under my windshield wiper.
Nanny - you are who you are.
Tony- thanks for always being there.
Lisa - thanks for thinking about making smores with my girl kid tomorrow night.
Ms Sandy - my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Karen - not mad - just want so much more for you.
Nikki - love you more than sweet tea and potato salad.
Christie - email me in the morning - so I know I am not alone.
God - thank you for my life, thank you for all you have blessed me with. Please watch over all of my family and my friends.  I pray that they have enough of whatever they need. I pray that you walk with all of them every day.  I pray that they know your love and your grace.  Thank you again for my many blessings.

Just cause its too cute!