December 7th 2010

Prompt: Community. __Where have I discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would I like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

I have made new friends on Facebook and @ my new job. I would like to more deeply connect with my community at church but I would need to go in order to do that. I have not been going, and that laziness on my part. It seems to be the easiest thing to put to the side when life gets busy. I know it should not be like that but it is. In 2011 I am making a commitment to myself and my daughter to not put this at the bottom of the list.

December 6th

todays prompt - Make. What was the last thing I made? What materials did I use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?

Well the last thing i made as a center piece in a vase for christmas. I used just some floral stems from michael and tissue paper. For my first attempt it turned out pretty good.

I have a long list of stuff I want to make, and yeah I need to make time to make it.

***Spent the day with Lee today it was nice.***

Short post. No pic.

December 5th A very Personal Post

www.reverb10.com

This website is about giving you prompts to reflect on this year and manifest whats next. I am going to play catch up for a minute as I missed the first 4 days of this. (There is a prompt for each day.)

1.) December 1 – One Word --- One word that encompasses the year 2010 for me is CHANGE. It seems like my life has done nothing but CHANGE over and over again this past year. For those that know me.. I am not good at CHANGE. I have had numerous major life CHANGES this year.

2.)December 2 – Writing --- I do not think that this one applies much to me other than the fact I need to do more of it. I have been told by numerous Counselors that it helps to get the feeling out, even if you just put them on paper and then throw them away. I recently had a nutritionist tell me that when I felt like eating and did not know if it was real hunger or my vice, to write something anything and keep going and after that if I was still wanting food to re-evaluate and see if it was real hunger or not. So maybe that will be a small goal for me, or maybe posting to this blog more regularly will be. Something for me to think about.

3.)December 3 – Moment --- This prompt is about picking one moment from the year where I felt most alive this year. Is it said that I am sitting here and really can not think of that MOMENT. I really am trying, but I am going back to the beginning of the year and I am noticing that I am having a hard time remembering the year. It could be the way I have felt over the past year and all of the changes. I am sad because I can not find my moment.

4.)December 4 – Wonder --- How did I cultivate a sense of wonder in my life this year? -- WOW, um not sure that I did, but it is something that is going to take place in 2011. I am currently reading a book called, The Gifts of Imperfection, by Brene Brown. It says Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are, Your Guide to WHOLEHEARTED Life. So, wish me luck on this journey I am taking for myself. It's going to involve changes on my part, work on my part. I am scared and yet excited. I am going to find a good counselor to see, I am going to become closer to God. I believe these things will help me. I think they will be good for me.

5.)December 5 – Let Go --- What (or whom) did I let go of this year? Why?

This Prompt hits home to me in a BIG no make that a HUGE way. I feel like I let go of myself and I don't know why. I feel as if I do not really know who I am. I feel as if I really do not know what I want. I feel as if I let go of things that were important to me. I feel as if I let the CHANGES take that away from me. Maybe its a growing process, maybe its just life and this happens to alot of people, and they just don't talk about it. I am not sure but again if you read December 4th, that's what I am going to do take Me back this year. I only hope that I have the courage to follow thru on it. I can not stress how nervous and scared I am about going on this journey, but I believe that it will and can help me come out on the other side a better ME. I think a better ME, means a better Person, Wife, Mother, Woman of God, Friend, and again a better ME.

Okay I wonder what tomorrows Prompt will be and what my answer will be and if I will continue to answer them honestly and with my heart.

Black Apples December 3rd

Well, most people would see a black apple and think yuck, gross. I see them and want to ram my head against the nearest wall. These days black apples are the vain of my existence. They are the definition of how well my Girl Kid behaved. These week I have seen way too many Black Apples. She received 3 of them on Tuesday. She decided to hold a bunch of other kids hostage in the tree house at recess. She made them all cry. Okay that was not nice, but really they are 3 and 4 years old why cry? Why not just push her out of the way? Knock her down or something? Yeah, I know then I might be saying little punks- I can not believe they pushed her down. But, for now I am sticking to just push her out of the way and leave the tree house! Too Shay! Also, that day she decided not to listen to her teacher at ALL. In fact she took that a step farther and tried to get everyone else to stop listening and to stop paying attention. Can anyone say Ring Leader? So that day ended with 3 black apples and no TV for her when she got home.

On to Wednesday, wow only 1 Black Apple. I was like that's not so bad, she did not sleep the night before. At all, period. She had a bad dream. She dreamt that her and I went to someones house where they had a cat that walked on 2 legs and it hit her. (yeah really whoever's house that was, please get your 2 legged cat under control) So again no TV for her.

Yesterday, Thursday I just knew with my whole heart that she had a good day. I felt it, her Daddy felt it. (I mean just because my day sucked butt....) I knew I was gonna pick her up and NO Black Apples. WRONG. She got 5 Black Apples. Not 1 not 2 not 3 but 5. She did not listen at all not even a little bit, it was the theme of the day. It was like Ms Deb was punishing herself by writing, Would not listen, would not listen, would not listen over and over again on the note that she left for me. Also, again with being mean to her friends. Every time she was allowed to play she would be mean to anyone around her. They made her sit out, tried again, she was mean again. So no TV again last night. I got onto her in front of her class, I did not yell, I simply stated that it was bad and wrong to be mean to her friends and made her tell all of the kids left at school/daycare that she was sorry. All of these kids were like "It's okay," "We forgive you." very nice. Then when we got in the car I made her cry, I told her she could not see Papa Tony until she had a good day. I know I am horrible right? The meanest mommy ever.

So, I am at a loss, and have developed a deep fear of Black Apples. Seriously these flat paper Black Apples can make me cry and make me want to bang my head against the wall. I feel like I am raising a monster. My Nanny thinks its funny. She is like how many today? "5" Good job she worked hard. That's how that conversation goes. (Me rolling my eyes @ my Nanny, which I can so do because I am in Jacksonville and she is in Wellborn and can not see me rolling my eyes @ her.) Any suggestions on what to do? I am at a loss. We threaten no Santa and have not even put up the Christmas tree, to reinforce that.

Praying for no BLACK APPLES today.

PS - story - Lee went to check on her last night about 11pm, to make sure she was covered. He checked on her and closed the door. I heard her (because we still use the baby monitor) say, "Who'd there?" heard Lee open her door again. "Is it you or the Monster?" - Lee "Me or you a monster?" CarLee, "No I am a people, I thought you were the Monster." Lee " No, whats your name?" CarLee, "CarLee." Lee "Good night CarLee." "Night Daddy."

Really who is this Monster and when did it start living in my house?

December 2, 2010

Daddy Bill

From the day I came into this world,

you have always been by my side.

Your hands have given me the protection

I would need in order to grow.

The smile you wore was always a ray

of sunshine over my day.

Always available to listen to me,

you never cast judgement my way.

The heart inside of you always seemed

to understand.

My feelings you knew as if they were your own.

Our relationship could only be described as true.

For you loved me as your child and I called you

Daddy, even though our names aren't the same.

Forever in my heart you will remain. January 17, 1998

Funny I just noticed the date I wrote this 2 months to the day before he passed away, leaving my life with this huge hole. I could go on and on about him. I think everyone should know I LOVED him despite who he was. I know all about the bad stuff but, the moments of good he gave were really good moments. One memory that sticks out, still makes me laugh out loud.
My mom and step dad AJ were opening up a shop (to work on cars) and there was this store that made hamburgers and fries. (Now it's known as the Mudville Grill where beach and Atlantic meet,back then it was a pharmacy/store/soda bar.) Well we all ordered these burgers and sat down to eat. I dropped mine on the ground, I was trying to put ketchup on it. The hamburger patty hit the dirtiest ground ever. He moved so fast, snatched it up off the ground and switched it out with AJ's friends Rob's hamburger. That was funny, but what made it worse was this guy just kept going on about how great the burger was. He went on and on and on... and really this floor was covered in grease, dirt, you name it had been on that floor. I was like 13 at the time and this was freaking hysterical to me and Lisa. Its 10:21 pm (12/01/2010) and I am smiling remembering this.

Another time was and this memory is so bittersweet to me. It was probably the last real conversation I ever had with him. See after this night he was on the ventilator and then the trek and I never heard his real voice again. He had to go to the emergency room, so me, Lee and Lisa followed the ambulance up there. Renee usually handled this, but she was fighting with David (and well honestly none of us thought anything was wrong, not even Daddy). Let's clear something up, David is Mexican. Daddy did not have anything against Mexicans, just David. He pretty much hated David. (oh, David being Renee's boyfriend then, husband now and Renee being my older step-sister.) So we are in the little areas @baptist er, Daddy in the bed, oxygen tank, me, Lee and Lisa and Daddy starts running his mouth. Okay he is talking about how Renee cant be there because she has to help David find his donkey. Let me tell you he went on and on, in walks a short cute doctor. Daddy starts saying (in front of the doctor) "why couldn't your sister fall in love with this guy? Oh no she has to go fall in love with some Mexican who cant even remember where he parked his donkey. This guy is cute and he has to be rich." Okay so I am trying to be the grown up, but laughing anyways lee and Lisa are laughing, and daddy just keeps going. He really did not like David. You may not find that funny, but i can still see him sitting in that bed flapping his arms and ranting and raving about David. The whole ER got a play by play and way to much info. Like I said I LOVED him despite who he was.

I can also remember the moment I knew and realized he loved me as if I were his. I mean I always knew it, but that picture at the top of this post, that day he looked at me with tears in his eyes and told me that I was beautiful and that he loved me more than he could ever say. It is truly the moment I knew that I did not have to have his blood or his last name for him to love me or for me to be his.
He is still with me, some days I think I feel his whiskers like I did when I kissed him good night or good bye. I still miss him so much it hurts. CarLee would be so stinking rotten way more than she is. He would have made her into a living nightmare for me. I know he is watching out for her. I know he has his hand on Lisa. I thought it would get better with time, I was so lost without him. See people did not know that i would sneak off to see him, on lunch break, after school, after work, and we would talk and talk and talk. I don't think of him everyday, but when I do think of him it can be crippling knowing what he's missed.
Once I asked him how I would know if Lee loved me in the forever kind of way. He actually told me, you don't have to know because I do.
I wish he could have seen Lisa dressed for her Proms, seen her get both her high school and college diplomas, buy her first house, and be here if she ever settles down. She was the apple of his eye. What he did right.
So December 2, is not a day that I dred or look forward too. It would have been his birthday. He would be so old tomorrow. like 77 or is it 78? Who knows he no longer ages.

Daddy, I miss you and I think about you and hope you know we are all okay.

December 1st Happy Birthday Cheryl Mosley

I want to take time today to say Happy Birthday to the most amazing Mother in Love.
She truly has the biggest heart and would do anything for anyone! She is also alot of fun and some of my best nights have been with her. Seeing Garth Brooks, meeting Billy Currington, seeing Keith Urban and Gary Allen. She has done so much and is truly one of those women who know how live life to the fullest. Her stories are amazing and funny. Yet she ALWAYS manages to be there whenever anyone needs her. She would go out of her way for anyone and she has (even those who never appreciate it!) She loves me constantly even when I am a witch (4th of July parade this year, sorry about that.) She wants everyone to know just how special they are, and goes out of her way to prove it to them. She loves unconditionally and truly. So today let's celebrate this NASCAR lovin, Country Music Listenen, Gone With the Wind collector, Mother, Sister, Friend, Aunt, Granny, former Bad A*S, no longer an all night partyer, and amazing women. My life is better because she is in it. Thanks for all you do and for always being you! I love you. I hope the next 50 years are as much fun as the first 50. I can not wait to see how your number one customizes the first wheel chair (just kidding we are a long way from there!)

a new start ... again

Well, blog land (not that I have a lot of followers) it has been a long while since I posted to my blog. I can not even begin to tell you all the things that have changed, and changed yet again. I will hopefully get more into that later.

This post is for me sort of like maybe a contract to myself. I have had my band empty since the beginning of summer, and my gall bladder removed. I have gained back almost all of my weight that I had lost. I am saying today is my new beginning. I need to get healthy and lose this weight. I want to have more energy more than anything right now.
I go see my band doctor today at 10:15. I am going to try and give up sweet tea. I just have to find something better to drink. That I like. I am not a big fan of the crystal light packets they have a funny after taste. I am unable to drink diet soda. So anyone have any ideas?? It’s also time to stop living on fast food (which is what I have done since starting a new job). I am shooting for High protein, low carb.

If anyone has any ideas or suggestions or anything please feel free to let me know. I have no excuses any more.

Love to you all.

I am making a TuTu

I took these (above) and made this (below).

I am super excited my oldest friend (that makes her sound old. it should be longest friendship but, that sounds weird) Lisa's little girl is turning 1! Lisa is also allowing me the honor of taking Claire's year old pictures. So, well I might be going over board. I am making a black n pink tutu and making her a cake to get into! I am so lucky to be apart of this. Yippee.. I am taking CarLee with me on Saturday to do the pictures. I think its going to be a very interesting morning. Oh, and I think I might make a matching #1 for her to hold if i can find some cool paper.

Giveaway On another Blog

check out: http://www.ishouldbefoldinglaundry.com/2010/06/toy-story-3.html

SHe is giving away alot of Goodies from Toy Story, all about Jesse is what I am calling it.
CarLee loves Jesse.. so I am really trying to win this doll for her. (and me. Cause I love Jesse too.)

Papa Tony's

CarLee loves to ride the merry go round!

CarLee loves her Papa Tony.

CarLee loves to play in the pool.

We had a good time with Papa Tony. We went out to the beach house, to celebrate Father's Day early. We are so lucky to have him in our lives.

Custom Necklaces

I love this Necklace. everything should read : Love Peace Flip Flops

http://www.etsy.com/listing/49445401/grande-single-initial-sterling-silver

these are the cutest necklaces ever! She has one that reads"

"stay calm have a cupcake"

Water

My sexy Husband!

My baby under water.

She looks scared to death, but she did really well.

Aint she just too cute?

So today was the first of CarLee's swimming lessons. I feel like she did really well. It was basically her getting used to the teacher, and trying to kick her legs and go under water. A few times I thought my heart was going to stop. She screamed I need to go back to the side and I was like okay lets just wait till next year. Yet, but the end of it she decided to show NO FEAR.

She was holding on to the side going towards the ladder and well she let go. She did not sink to the bottom, she did pretty good. She was not ready to let go of the side, but she tried. I love her so much. I really think she enjoyed herself too. She talked all the way home.

Who she is.....

So we were riding in the car the other day and CarLee told me why we named Sharkbait, Sharkbait. Let's everyone remember that I had Sharkbait about 3 years before I even got pregnant with her. She was like "Mommy, Sharkbait is Sharkbait because he has brown spots." This totally through me for a loop. Sharkbait is named Sharkbait, because Lee is a little off in the head. I then proceeded to ask CarLee why Sushi was called Sushi. "Because he is yellow Mommy." So today, when all 3 of us where in the car I asked CarLee why we named Sharkbait, Sharkbait and Sushi, Sushi. This was for Lee's benefit. She answered the same way she had the other day. So Lee then asked CarLee why her name was CarLee to which my four year old amazing daughter replied, "Because I have toes." (It sounded like she rolled her eyes after answering.) She then told me and her daddy that her whole name is CarLee Michelle Minyard, but to Ms "B" is CarLee Barley. I would like to have kept going but, was unable to stop laughing long enough to ask her why I was named Kim or Mommy.

Need a New Logo?...

Check out these two blogs..

http://thematernallens.blogspot.com/ and also check out http://daisiesanddamask.blogspot.com/ --- these are awesome logos!

Contemplating....

Okay to this picture has really nothing to do with my post, but she is cute!

So, lately I have been contemplating the future. I need to find a new job. I need to finish my to do list. Well, okay I need to make a to do list so that I can finish that to do list. I have started a few projects while i have been off, but have really yet to complete any of the projects i have started. I guess what I am trying to do is decide a course. I am not really sure what I am supposed to be doing. I feel as if I am not sure of what I am supposed to be doing.

I am really enjoy being off, and yet I am starting to get a little bored. I have worked most of my life. Well, since I was 15 years old. Before that I was babysitting and even mowing grass. So, I am enjoying being off, but really when you have worked most of your life its kind of weird being off. I really want to find a job I enjoy. A job that makes me feel as if I have a purpose.

Also, I have been thinking about my photography alot. Should i take some classes at FCCJ? What should i do? Keep trying to get a business up and running? Should i just make it a hobby? I feel as if right now I have no direction. I would love to take a class. Yet, that cost money and so on and so on.

My scrapbooking is a little out of control, but I am totally working on that right now.

Also, Lee's grandfather passed away last week, and I have yet to really deal with that on any level. Lee has yet to deal with that on any level.

For a friend

Never will I understand why you could not stay,The world is not the same since you went away.I have not seen your sweet smile,In such a long while.Will I ever know the reason,I had you for such a short season?I go on moment by moment knowing something is wrong,Yet, always doing what it takes to stay strong.Days pass, life moves on and time goes by,and sometimes that is enough to make me cry.I hold your memory in my heart, believing we are truly never apart.I can not wait for the day,When I look at you and say,"I have missed you."and you reply, "Mommy, me too."

By: Kim Minyard 06/02/2010

I have a friend who suffered a great loss, many years ago. To her I am sure it seems like just yesterday and yet so long ago. I do not know how she managed to go on after such a deep loss. We were not friends when this happened. Yet, I am deeply moved that she and her family remember Jessica in such a special way. This year they went to visit her and released ballons sending her hugs, and kisses. She still states that she has 5 children. I admire her for this (along with numerous other reasons). For any mother who has lost a child my heart goes out to you.

more of the birdies

you can see all three in this shot.

So the little guys are still there.

day to of the little birdies in my shoe

you can not really see the birdies, but there are at least 3.
You can see his little beak, and his feathers.

this shoe has a nest but no little birdies.

there was a bird who lived in a shoe

so I raked the yard about 2 months ago. I left my shoes on the back porch. Well moved them onto the grill so they would not get wet, when it rained. Well a couple of weeks ago we noticed a bird building a nest in them. I left them there, cause well obviously she needed the shoes. Well tonight I caught here feeding the babies. I should be embarrassed, but I am not.

Changes going on around the Minyard House

this is my first dinning room table with four matching chairs. yard sale $25.00

This is the door I got for Mothers day last year. I love it and love where we put it!

We have been doing some re-arranging and changing up at the minyard House. Its alot of fun and alot of work. I am really enjoying my time off of work, but knows the time will end all too soon. I feel like for the first time I am turning my house into somthing I have always wanted!

funny and something i want to remember.

okay so its time for CarLee's bath tonight. Lee is getting her ready, then she starts to cry. I go to my room and she is in my bed crying. I asked, Lee whats wrong he says I dont know. I asked CarLee and she just keeps on crying. I threaten to take her tv away. She keeps crying. Lee brings me the spoon and she gets swatted on her hiney. she stops crying and then starts again. I strip her down and carry her to her bathroom and dump her in the waiting bath water. Lee then hands me the pitcher we use for rinsing her hair. CarLee continues to cry. We still have no idea why she is crying, but she wont stop and will not tell us whats wrong. Okay so then I fill the pitcher up and dump it on her head. Childish but this made me feel better. I handed Lee the pitcher and he dumps it on her. he hands me the pitcher and i attempt to dump more water on the crying girl kid and end up dumping half of it on lee. well that leads to him dumping water on me on purpose. Before I can react he dumps water on himself, and then more on me. (Yes, CarLee is still crying for no reason.) Then Lee gets in to the tub with CarLee.. he is still fully clothed from the day, shorts, socks, shirt. Well, i ended up in the tub too. CarLee is still crying, the harder her stupid parents laugh the louder she cries. Poor Kid, she got stuck with us. It was truly funny. This is my imperfect life that is so perfect for me.

more pictures from the weekend

This is the Big Black Chicken Lee had to find to show us.

At first I thought this was an Owl, but now

I am thinking a bat. I LOVED it!





We found a Big White Chicken and a Purple on too.

the truck

So yesterday was about getting a picture of this truck for my husband. I have to admit I am really starting to get into taking pictures of ole' broke down automobiles. This one was pretty cool. This was a pretty neat thing to photograph and Lee really likes it, so that makes me happy too.

Blueberry Festival and then some.

CarLee with her Blueberry Shaved Ice.

The Blueberrys.

The Blueberry Ice Cream (YUMMY!)

The fried oreos.

Okay they were so good. I could only eat 1 and 1/2 but oh, my.

okay so Lee wanted a family day. Me, him and CarLee. He wanted to go see this truck so I could take a picture of it. It was a truck on a lift that had been forgotten about. I was like okay. I then got online to see if something was going on around it, on the way to it, past it. The was the Bostwick Blueberry Festival. I had no clue there was even a town called Bostwick. There is and it has an annual blueberry festival. It was nothing huge, had some nice vendors, and good food. CarLee also liked the live music. We had a good time there. We did this before going to find this truck and something about a huge black chicken. Lee really wanted to see this truck and then he started talking about a huge black chicken. more on that later.